jigsaw-ff asked: "First, Chris ain't shiiiiiit *finger wave* I never understand the concept of cheating. You have availability to your main 24/7 whereas with a side bae, your time is limited. I'm glad Jessica was able to find love/comfort where she needed it. It sounds hypocritical, know. ANYWAY... Bianca isn't innocent at all. She played with fire and it all started at the strip club. She knew he was married and still fell victim whether she was trying to be his friend/side bae. She's guilty...Everyone was guilt"

Everyone was definitely guilty in their own way. Each person played a part in the events that took place.

Anonymous asked: "fanfics you recommend reading? ever since I read yours all the others tend to bore me lol :("

Uhh most of the fanfics I used to read have deleted their chapters but some that I recommend now are:

intheshadowsff

differentworlds-fiction

dancingwiththedevilff

wrongfullyaccusedlove

foreverholdmedown

Anonymous asked: "I just wanna say that your story made me cry and I'm only on chapter 8. I feel like Chris cheating on me. 😩 I wanna punch him in the face soooo bad"

awww! im sorry it made you cry, love!

Anonymous asked: "Hi! I'm just starting your story, I've heard A LOT of great things about it and I can't wait! ❤️❤️"

Yay!! I hope you enjoy ❤️

simplyloveme-posts asked: "I just finished reading this & I wish there would've been a sequel. It was an amazing story."

Thank you so much ❤️

Anonymous asked: "character list?"

It was deleted when I transferred the blog. I can tell you the basics: Chris= Chris Brown, Jessica= Nazanin Mandi, Bianca= Claudia Nelson.

TheDonFF Chapter List

Prologue                                                            Chapter 21         Chapter 42              

Chapter 1                                                          Chapter 22          Chapter 43

Chapter 2                                                          Chapter 23          Chapter 44

Chapter 3                                                          Chapter 24          Chapter 45

Chapter 4                                                          Chapter 25          Chapter 46

Chapter 5                                                          Chapter 26          Epilogue 

Chapter 6                                                          Chapter 27

Chapter 7                                                          Chapter 28

Chapter 8                                                          Chapter 29

Chapter 9                                                          Chapter 30

Chapter 10                                                        Chapter 31

Chapter 11                                                        Chapter 32

Chapter 12                                                        Chapter 33: part 1 , part 2

Chapter 13                                                        Chapter 34

Chapter 14                                                        Chapter 35

Chapter 15                                                        Chapter 36

Chapter 16                                                        Chapter 37: part 1 , part 2 , part 3

Chapter 17                                                        Chapter 38

Chapter 18                                                        Chapter 39

Chapter 19                                                        Chapter 40

Chapter 20                                                        Chapter 41

posted 4 months ago with 5 notes
Epilogue

Five months later

A low sigh emitted from my lips as I adjusted my tie in the mirror, normally I would’ve had Jessica doing this but we still aren’t on the best terms. She kept her word and filed for the divorce which was finalized a week ago.

It has been a long five months but the fighting is finally over with and we don’t have to deal with each other in that way ever again. I wouldn’t say that our divorce was messy but it had it’s moments when we got down to discussing details with our lawyers. The main issue was money, Jessica didn’t want to take any of my money but I insisted on setting her off so she would never have to work again if she didn’t want to. But she had this pride about her that wouldn’t allow her to feel like she was living off of her ex husband. Eventually she gave in and agreed to taking ten million which was significantly lower than what I wanted to give her but that’s the most she would take.

We didn’t have an issue about Casey because I didn’t want to put her through a custody battle, as long as I was allowed to see my daughter whenever I wanted then I was okay with her living with Jessica. But with that being said, Jessica was still being petty about the situation. Five months have went by since everything went down and the only time I saw her was when we had our divorce meetings. When I wanted to see Casey, she was dropped off at my mom’s house and I had to pick her up from there. I understood this process for the first few weeks to a month but anything beyond that was just childish and unnecessary. But I think it proved that she wasn’t over me yet, that’s expected but we could be adults about the situation.

Casey will be two soon and she’s getting smarter everyday, it’s good to see that our fucked up situation hasn’t had a negative impact on her because she’s still the happiest little girl ever. For the sake of her though, I wish I had done things a little differently because she’s my little girl and I’d hate for a nigga to do even half the shit I did to her mom to her. But it’s life and I know that I won’t always be around to protect her from assholes like me, I just have to talk to her when she’s old enough and pray that I get through to her.

I ended up selling the house because there was no point in me living in the big ass space with no one to share it with. I bought a two bedroom condo in the city which was in between both Jessica and Bianca’s places just in case I needed to access either one of them quickly. But it didn’t matter that I was close to Jessica because it’s not like I was ever invited over, she was content with us not seeing each other so I let it be. Mike told me that he heard her and Lauren talking when they were at his crib and apparently she’s with that nigga Gabe now. Five months ago I would’ve probably been pissed, but now I couldn’t find it in me to get mad because if he treats her better than I ever did then that’s what she deserves.

"Hey man, you good to go?" Mike asked, breaking me from my previous thoughts.

"Yeah, it took me a minute to figure out this tie but I’m good now," I chuckled.

"When I looked inside the church, I saw that nigga Gabe inside so I guess he is Jessica’s date. You good with that or you want me to have him thrown out? ‘Cause you know I’d do it."

I chuckled at Mike’s foolishness and shook my head, “Nah, I’m good. Besides today ain’t about me and my problems, it’s about you and your wife.”

"My nigga," Mike said, extending his hand to pull me into a brotherly hug.

"Don’t be tryna get all soft on me, let’s go." I chuckled, as we went to meet up with the rest of the wedding party.

It didn’t surprise me that Jessica was here with Gabe especially since Mike told me that they were dating. I didn’t mind, she’s a grown woman and is allowed to date whomever she pleases. I, on the other hand, wasn’t dating anyone and therefor had no date to the wedding.

Is it bad to show up to a wedding alone?

I think people in attendance are probably judging all of the single people without dates but I really didn’t care because I could’ve had a date if I really wanted on but I refused to bring a random to and event. I had been fucking randoms in the first two months but that got old quick, there were a few times that Bianca and I almost took it there due to her pregnancy hormones but she would always stop me right before it happened. Speaking of Bianca, I could’ve easily asked her to accompany me but she’s nine months pregnant waiting to burst any day now so she’s been put on bed rest by the doctor.

The music started playing signifying that it was time for the wedding party to start walking down the aisle. I noticed mama holding Casey as they waited for their turn to walk down the aisle because Casey was the flower girl.

"You look beautiful fat mama," I cooed, kissing her cheek as she giggled. "You too mama."

"Thank you angel, you look handsome." Mama responded.

"Thanks," I kissed both of their cheeks before venturing off to find Jessica.

Being that I was the best man and Jessica was the maid of honor, I had to escort her down the aisle which she had a problem with at wedding rehearsals but got over it for the sake of her friend.

She looked good in her lavender dress that was different from the rest of the bridesmaids dresses, it made her stand out but her beauty did that on it’s own. Her short hair was bone straight and as always she had on minimal makeup and still looked gorgeous as ever.

"Jessica," I announced, once I approached her. She looked at me up and down before slightly rolling her eyes causing me to chuckle.

"Christopher," She mumbled. "Your tie looks retarded," She giggled, reaching up to adjust my tie for me.

"Thank you," I smiled once she was finished fixing it. "You look beautiful as always."

She tried to fight the smile off her face but was unsuccessful, “Thank you,” She blushed.

"No problem," I replied, "Shall we?" I asked, reaching my arm out for her to attach herself so that we could begin our trek down the aisle.

As Lauren and Mike read their vows to each other, I could tell that Jessica was trying not to get emotional but she was failing miserably. She confessed to me that she was emotional during Shannon’s wedding because that was around the time that she and I were on “break” so I can imagine that she’s probably emotional for the same reason.

Or she could just be happy for our best friends.

It might be a combination of both.

Today wasn’t about us though, it was about our best friends as they begin their lifelong journey together. They’ve witnessed our marriage and our mistakes so hopefully they’ll do better than us. Mike was already on the right path my choosing to do what I should’ve done when I asked Jessica to marry me. He was already a one woman man, today would just solidify it.

I was proud of him to say the least.

—-

"The wedding was beautiful," Jessica whispered, attempting to wipe the tears that kept falling down her face. "I’m happy for them."

"Yeah, me too." I responded.

The wedding ended about thirty minutes ago and we had just arrived at the venue for the reception, other people were still arriving. 
"Why don’t you invite ya boy Gabe to come sit next to you?" I asked Jessica. There was a specific table for the wedding party and their dates but here she was sitting next to me while he was at another table.

"I don’t wanna cause any problems," She uttered lowly.

"Girl invite ya man over here, I ain’t trippin’." I stated truthfully, I didn’t care about them dating because it wasn’t my business to care anymore.

"How come you’re here alone?" She asked, changing the subject. "Where’s your girl?"

"One, she ain’t my girl. And two, she’s nine months pregnant."

"Oh," She mumbled, there was a hint of relief in her voice but I decided to ignore it. I knew Jessica still had feelings for me, it was obvious by her actions. She excused herself from the table and made her way over to the table with her nigga and eventually they came back to our table.

"Chris,"

"Gabe," I replied, as we shook hands lightly. I didn’t really have anything against him anymore as long as he treated Jessica right and didn’t hurt her then he was alright with me.

About an hour later everyone had arrived and the food was being served by the staff. The Champagne was flowing and so was the conversation, Mike and Lauren were in their own little world definitely acting like newlyweds. I talked it up with a few of the other people that were in the wedding party, including our friend Mijo from college. It had been a while since I saw him so it was nice catching up.

After dinner, Lauren and Mike cut their tall ass cake and fed each other small pieces causing everyone in the room to swoon.

When they took their seats, I stood up and raised my glass of Champagne as I tapped it lightly with my knife to gain everyone’s attention. Soon after, the entire room fell silent and all eyes were on me. I’ve never been nervous about public speaking so this speech was about to be a breeze for me. As best man it was my duty to deliver the best speech of the night.

I gazed at the audience full of familiar faces, and my eyes landed on my beautiful babygirl who was watching me in amazement as she sat on her grandmother’s lap. I smiled at her before I began my speech.

"I would like to propose a toast, to the bride and groom." I announced, lowering my glass since I now had everyone’s attention. "Don’t worry, it won’t be extremely long because Mike’s speech at my wedding wasn’t that great," I chuckled at my own joke as did everyone else. "Nah but Mike and I have been best friends for years and we’ve been through pretty much everything together. And Lauren, I’ve known her since college and since then she’s become like a sister to me. I watched their love grow from a silly little crush to what it is today and I can honestly say that those two are meant for each other. May today be the start of the rest of your lives…" I paused to lift my glass once more. "To the bride and groom, I love yall."

"To the bride and groom." The entire room said in unison before erupting in a roar of applause as I retook my seat.

"Nice speech," Jessica whispered and I just nodded in response.

My phone starting buzzing in the pocket of my dress pants, “Excuse me,” I said to no one in particular as I stood up and headed outside so I could answer the call.

"Hello?" I answered.

"I’ve been trying to reach you for the past twenty minutes nigga!" Alexis’ voice blared from the other end of the phone.

"I’ve been busy, you know today is Mike’s wedding day right?"

"Yeah whatever," She said dismissing my statement. "Anyway, Bianca’s water just broke and you’re lucky I was here with her!"

"Nigga shut up, I asked you to watch her anyway! You taking her to University of Chicago Hospital right?"

A small sigh emitted from her mouth before she spoke, “Yes, we’re on our way just meets us there.” She replied before hanging up.

I stuffed my phone back into my pocket before rushing over to the valet. I pulled out the red ticket they gave me shoved it in one of their hands. “I need my car now!”

"Right away sir," The valet nodded his head and rushed off to get my Range Rover for me. Being that it was mid-August, it was extremely warm outside even though it was dark outside. One thing about summer in Chicago is that it is extremely humid in comparison to other places, not as bad as Texas but worse than California.

About five minutes later the valet pulled up with my car, I tipped him with a fifty and hurriedly rushed inside and sped off towards the hospital not even bothering to announce my departure to anyone. I think reality was finally setting in that I was finally about to have my second child. I wish I could say that I knew what we were having but Bianca was very adamant in not wanting to know the sex of the baby until he or she was born. So for the hell of it, whenever I bought something for the baby I either made sure it was unisex or bought one for each gender. And I’ll donate the items for the gender that we don’t have to charity.

I reached the hospital in thirty minutes which was good considering the fact that I was coming from up north but my anxiety pushed me to speed and thankfully I didn’t get stopped by any police officers. How awful would that be?

I found a parking space near the entrance of the hospital and hurriedly rushed out of the car into the building. There was only one woman at the front desk but she was on the phone completely ignoring my presence.

Unprofessional bitch.

"Excuse me," I said politely, trying to be nice about her rudeness. But as expected she continued to ignore me as she zoned in on her conversation that she was having probably with one of her ghetto friends. Just by the way she was speaking I could infer that it wasn’t a work call. "Listen, my baby is about to be born so how about you get your rude ass off the phone and do your fucking job?" I spoke through gritted teeth, trying not to cause a scene.

"Jen, I’m gonna call you back," She uttered into the phone before hanging it up. She rolled her eyes at me and chewed on her gum just like a ratchet bitch. "Can I help you?"

"I need a room number for Bianca Alvarez," I said calmly, trying not to let her get to me. My baby was about to be born so I had nothing to be angry about, nothing was about to ruin this moment for me.

"She just checked in ten minutes ago, room 515B here’s your visitor’s pass."

I grabbed the pass from her and quickly raced towards the elevator’s not wanting to waste anymore time. Had it not been for her ghetto ass I probably would’ve already been up there already.

I ran out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened earning a few stares from the staff on the floor but I ignored them and continued my journey to her room.

Upon entering the room I immediately noticed Bianca lying in the bed in one of those hospital gowns and Alexis was sitting off to the side flipping through channels on the TV.

I released a sigh of relief thankful that I didn’t miss anything. Walking over to the bed, I placed a kiss on Bianca’s forehead before sitting down in the chair that was next to her bed. “What’s going on?” I asked.

Bianca shrugged, “I’m only four centimeters dilated and my contractions are thirty minutes apart so I’m not ready to give birth just yet.”

"I’m going down to the cafeteria, Chris you want anything?" Alexis asked, standing up from her spot on the couch as I shook my head.

"Nah, I’m good," I replied. She shrugged and continued her journey out of the room. "You nervous?" I asked Bianca.

"Nervous about all the pain I’m about to experience thanks to you!" She yelled in her best fake-angry tone that I saw right through.

"It takes two to tango," I smirked.

"Fuck you Chris."

"You already—"

My sentence was cut short by her punching me in the chest. “Don’t even say it asshole,” She muttered, fighting off her chuckles.

"Girl you gon’ get enough of putting your hands on me!" I mumbled, rubbing the spot that she punched and left a little tender.

"Man up."

—-

"Oh my God!!! Chrisssss get the doctor!" Bianca screamed as she held onto her stomach for dear life. I quickly got up from my seat and went out to find the doctor but when I didn’t see him, I settled on a nurse.

"Can you alert the doctor? I think the baby is coming!" They rushed off to find the doctor and I went back into the room to find Bianca still in pain clutching onto her stomach.

"Is….he….coming?" Her breathing was heavy and she could barely speak due to the pain she was experiencing. Moments like these made me glad I wasn’t a female because they really gotta go through it all.

"Yeah they went to get him," I replied, walking back over to her bedside. I grabbed the towel that had been sitting inside a bowl of water and rung it out before dabbing it across her forehead to ease her up a little.

"Let’s deliver a baby! Shall we?" The doctor asked excitedly upon entering the room. He walked over to the sink and washed his hands before covering them with gloves. He had Bianca prop her legs up and insert her feet into some circular things so that he had a clear view of her area. I don’t understand how women could be comfortable sitting up there knowing they’re all exposed and whatnot but more power to them.

"Ten centimeters dilated, you’re ready." Dr. Smith announced.

When I was watching Jessica deliver Casey, I damn near fainted when I saw her crowning but I think I should be okay this time since I know what to expect.

"Take a deep breath for me," He coached Bianca. "Now push and keep breathing through your nose." She followed his orders and pushed, the pain she was experiencing was written all over her face. I gave her my left hand to squeeze as I allowed my right hand to keep dabbing her forehead with the cold water.

"Good, now take another deep breath and push again." She did as he said once again as she squeezed the shit out of my hand.

"You’re crowning! One more push Bianca, make it strong."

"Ahhhhh!" She screamed as she pushed as hard as she could, all the while breaking every bone in my hand — at least that’s what it felt like.

Loud cries erupted in the room but left as quickly as they came because the nurses took the baby to the back before we got to find out the sex. Bianca was panting hard as I dabbed her forehead once more to rid her of the beads of sweat that were trickling down her face.

"Bitch," Bianca muttered hoarsley.

"I’ma let you slide ‘cause you just had my baby but watch ya mouth Alvarez," I replied.

The nurses came back into the room with the baby before Bianca could respond, she didn’t know who to give the baby to first but Bianca pointed to me.

"Say hello to your new baby boy," The nurse cooed as she handed him over to me.

Him.

I finally have a son.

"Just what we need, another you running around here," Bianca joked, as I came to sit next to her on the bed. "What should we name him?" She asked.

"Chris Jr."

Author’s note: Say hello to Christopher Maurice Brown Jr.

chapter 46

Jessica

When you get married you imagine that you’re going to be with that particular person for the rest of your life, that’s the whole concept of marriage right? To be committed to one person until death do you part.

Unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way.

No one gets married just to end up going through a divorce a few years later but shit happens. Every situation is different and sometimes you can’t just work through your issues.

I wish I could place all the blame on Chris but that wouldn’t be fair because what I did is no better than what he did. We both stepped outside of our marriage for selfish reasons without thinking about the consequences of our actions.

After our big argument at the house, I sat in the same spot and cried for two hours straight. Once I got myself together, I put our entire situation into perspective and really thought we could work through this. I wanted us to just leave this in the past and start over with a clean slate but we can’t leave everything in the past if part of it will have to continue on into the future.

Her still being pregnant ruined our chances of staying together because that is one thing I refuse to put up with. No matter how much I didn’t want her to, she’d always be a part of his life because she was carrying a piece of him inside of her. She now has a part of him that only I was supposed to have, we’re basically in the same place in his life. The only thing I have that she doesn’t is a ring and obviously that isn’t saying much.

I know I told Chris that we don’t have to hate each other but I can’t think of another word to describe the way I feel about him right now. I couldn’t pretend that everything was okay because it wasn’t, not even close to being okay.

Even though he didn’t take Casey to the hospital with him, he still took it too far by bringing her to meet his mother like she was his girlfriend or something. Shit, for all I know that might be exactly what she is. Baby mama or not, his mother doesn’t need to meet her until their damn child is born.

Their child.

The thought alone disgusted me. 

When I got pregnant without know which one of them fathered the child, I did what I had to do for the sake of my marriage but I can tell that Chris wants this damn child with her, whether I leave or not he’s going to have this baby with her.

I can’t play step mom to a child he made while cheating on me, it would’ve been a different story if he already had a child before we got together. And even if I did stay, who’s to say that he wouldn’t cheat on me again with her? She’s his baby mother now and whether he wants to admit it or not, she has a piece of his heart. Chris obviously has a problem keeping his dick in his pants already.

Chris has stepped out on me twice and that’s only what has been brought to my attention, who knows how many times he really cheated on me? I can’t help but wonder how many more Veronica’s and Bianca’s there were.

How had I not foreseen this?

Chris couldn’t have been that damn clever with his cheating so why the fuck was I so damn oblivious?

Love.

Or at least what I wrongly perceived as love.

Rushing into marriage obviously was a mistake, I had my doubts but Chris led me to believe that he was all about us.

I mean, who gets married just to cheat?

Chris. That’s who.

How can you claim to be in love with someone but you’ve been cheating on them since the beginning? He doesn’t value me or our relationship and apparently he never has. Although I hate that it has come to this, divorce is my only option.

I told him that I’d see him when he got home but just looking at these walls was driving me to the point of insanity, knowing this home was built on a lie made me sick.

I’m gonna go to the courthouse Monday morning to file for a divorce but in the meantime, I think it’s time that babygirl and I move back into our apartment.

My mind was made up, there was nothing anyone could say to me to make me stay. Quickly, I wiped the lone tear that cascaded down my face before getting up to pack a bag filled with Casey and I’s things. There was no way that I’d be able to pack all of our belongings tonight so I made sure to just focus on the necessities.

I can hire some movers in the morning, I just need to get out of this house tonight.

—-

Keeping the apartment was one of the best decisions I ever made.

I had just laid Casey down in her crib because babygirl was sleepy, now I was sitting in my bedroom watching Soul Plane. I had to get used to sleeping alone again, although it shouldn’t be that hard considering the fact that I slept alone a number of times while living with Chris.

The marimba ringtone sounding from my iPhone brought me out of my thoughts, I picked up the illuminating device to see that it was Lauren calling.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Good to know you aren’t dead! Where have you been all day?" Lauren voiced loudly, forcing me to pull the phone slightly away from my ear as I chuckled faintly.

"It’s been a long day." I mumbled sadly.

"What’s wrong?" She asked, concern leaking from her tone.

"Everything," I replied. "But I really don’t feel like going into details right now, let’s do lunch tomorrow?"

"Okay, love you."

"You too." I said before hanging up.

Soul plane was still on and although I loved this movie, I couldn’t focus on it because my mind wouldn’t allow me too. The same thoughts kept running through my head like a broken record.

I needed something to ease my mind.

I haven’t smoked since finding out I was pregnant with Casey but I sure could go for a blunt right now, it would put me and these annoying thoughts to rest.

Since I didn’t have that, I’d have to settle for the next best thing. I stared at my phone in front of me contemplating if I was ready to make that call.
I had an internal battle with myself for about ten minutes before I gave in and picked up the phone. I dialed the numbers that I wish I didn’t know by heart but couldn’t help not to. The phone rang four times before they answered.

"What do you want?" Gabe asked harshly, I knew he would be upset with me and I’m actually surprised that he answered my call at all.

I didn’t know what to say to him though so I stayed quiet, trying to build up the courage to say what I called him for.

But I don’t know why I called him.

I guess I was so used to calling him while Chris and I were on “break” dialing his number while I was feeling lonely became the norm for me I suppose.

A deep huff escaped his mouth before he spoke again, “If you ain’t gon’ say shit then—”

"Wait," I rushed out, sensing that he was going to hang up on me. "I-I need you." I mumbled lowly, picking at the invisible lint on my yoga pants.

"I’m not about to play these games with you again Jessica."

"But—"

"No," He cut me off, the agitation in his voice was growing by the minute.

"You fucked it up when you chose him, don’t come calling me because he fucked up again." He spat harshly.

"I’m at my apartment if you change your mind." I said lowly, hanging up the phone shortly after before he could even respond.

I knew he’d have ill feelings towards me because of how things went down a few months ago. When Chris and I got back on good terms I was still messing around with Gabe but once I began feeling secure with Chris again, I completely ignored Gabe. Every time he called or texted, I’d just ignore and delete it as if it never happened.

At that time I couldn’t imagine actually leaving Chris for Gabe, although I often told him that I would, it just wasn’t realistic for me. Sure Gabe was there for me but in the midst of him being there for me, I was still crying over Chris. I made those promises to him in a moment of weakness but in hindsight, being with Gabe probably would’ve saved me from the heartache that I feel now.

But it wouldn’t have been fair to Gabe to be with him knowing that my heart still yearned for Chris. I can’t lie and say that I don’t feel something for Gabe but even still my heart sadly remains with Chris, I can feel myself slipping away but it’s going to take some time.

The sound of the doorbell brought me out of my daunting thoughts, I didn’t know whether to smile or not because that could be one of two people and I had no idea which one of them it was.

On my way to the front door I stopped by Casey’s room to ensure that she was still sleeping, when I got confirmation I continued onto the door. They ended up ringing the bell once more right before I got to answer it.

A wide grin spread across my lips once I opened the door to find Gabe standing there staring right back at me. Not a word was said as I stepped aside to allow him access into the apartment which he accepted. I walked off towards the room as he closed and locked the front door before following behind me. Normally I wouldn’t have him around while Casey was here but she was sleep anyway and I needed him right now.

"Why am I here Jessica?" He asked, standing by the bedroom door while I took a seat on the bed and stared at him intently.

"Can you just…" I looked away to avoid his stare, feeling a bit embarrassed for what I was about to ask. "…Hold me?"

—-

Chris

After dropping Bianca off, I drove aimlessly around the city not wanting to go home for obvious reasons. Jessica was way too calm at mama’s house which probably meant that she was waiting until we were home for her to yell at me and I honestly didn’t feel like arguing with her for the third time today.

I just wanted to go home and sleep this dramatic ass day off, too much shit happened in the past 24 hours. I decided to just say fuck it and head home, maybe she’d be sleep and I can postpone any arguing until the morning.

When I arrived at the house I immediately took notice to how quiet it was so I assumed that both of them were sleeping which was perfect for me. I stopped by Casey’s room but she wasn’t in her crib so maybe Jessica had her sleeping in our room which I should’ve expected.

But when I reached our room, neither of them were in there.

I searched the entire perimeter of the house and there wasn’t a sign of either one of them. Glancing at my watch, I noticed that it was eleven o clock which meant that Casey should be sleep right now so I know Jessica didn’t just have her out anywhere.

She told me she’d see me when I got home but here I am and she’s gone, I didn’t need to guess where she was because I already knew.

She kept that apartment for a reason.

When I moved her out of that apartment I was so sure that she wouldn’t be needing it anymore but look where we are now. A small shiny object on the nightstand caught my attention, pulling me towards it like some sort of magnetic force.

It was her wedding ring.

This is the second time she gave the ring back but the first time she uttered the word divorce. The reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks because I knew she was serious this time.

But could I blame her?

I cheated on her twice— that she knows of — and got one of the women pregnant, how could I expect her to stay with me through that? She told me if I cheated again then she wouldn’t hesitate to divorce me and obviously she’s holding true to her words.

Honestly, even if Bianca wasn’t still pregnant I don’t think our marriage would’ve worked out anyway. I can’t get over the fact that she cheated on me and terminated her pregnancy because she didn’t know who the father was. I’ll acknowledge that I’m a hypocrite but I honestly don’t care, that shit is just foul as fuck. Not only is it foul but it’s also unattractive, she was having unprotected sex with two niggas in the same time frame.

But when I put the situation into perspective it’s almost like Jessica and I are the same damn person because we pretty much did the same thing. I can’t fault her for having feelings involved with that nigga because I’d be lying if I said my feelings weren’t involved with Bianca.

I haven’t been alone in this house in a long ass time and being alone in it now brought me an eerie feeling that wasn’t sitting right with me.

Maybe I didn’t have to stay here.

Quickly, I grabbed my gym bag and filled it with an outfit for tomorrow and hygiene items before racing downstairs back to the car. I was tired of driving but here I was about to drive back into the city just because I didn’t want to sleep alone in that house tonight. I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid this every night but I just didn’t want to be alone tonight.

Thankfully there wasn’t a lot of traffic so I pulled up to Bianca’s apartment complex about twenty minutes later. I would’ve called her to let her know that I was returning but I still didn’t have her new number, which would definitely have to change.

There wasn’t anybody at the front desk so I went straight to the elevator with no problems. The ride to the tenth floor was quick since I was the only one inside so there were no extra stops.

I knocked lightly on her door, not feeling as nervous as I was the other night when I showed up because this time I knew she didn’t hate me.

"Who is it?" Bianca asked through the door.

"Ya baby daddy," I smirked as she unlocked the door.

Once we were face to face she mugged me, as I took the time to admire her dressed down frame in a pair of track shorts and a tank top, her blonde tresses were in a sloppy bun just how I liked it. I’d always appreciate a woman that looks just as good dressed down as she does when she’s dressed up. “One, don’t you ever say my baby daddy. And two, what are you doing here and why do you have a bag?”

"You gon’ let a nigga in or what?"

She rolled her eyes before stepping aside so I could enter the apartment, Alexis was on the couch watching some movie on Lifetime and judging by the blanket and pillow on the other couch, Bianca was too.

"What’s up Lex?"

"Hey Chris," She mumbled, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"B I’m gonna chill in your room, come in there when you done watching this girly shit." I stated, walking towards her bedroom without giving her the chance to respond.

I haven’t been inside this apartment in a long time and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it, there was a point in time when this was practically my second home. Being here reminded me that I’d have to call the movers in the morning because I wanted her in my condo as soon as possible.

I decided to turn on Sportscenter to watch highlights from the Heat game that I missed due to this eventful ass day. Kicking off my shoes, I rid myself of the sweatpants I had on so that I was down to my basketball shorts before hopping into her bed.

I watched a full hour of Sportscenter before Bianca finally came into the room.

"So are you going to tell me why you’re here?" She inquired, sitting next to me on the bed.

"I didn’t wanna be alone," I answered truthfully, not wanting to lie to her.

"She left?"

"Yea," I said in a monotone.

"I’m sorry—" She started but I cut her off.

"You aint got shit to be sorry about, it ain’t your fault." I grumbled. Bianca didn’t need to be blaming herself because although she was a contributing factor, Jessica and I were on the road to destruction either way.

"You want me to get you some blankets?" She asked suddenly.

"For what?"

"For the couch nigga! I know you didn’t think you were sleeping in here?" She chortled.

"Girl please," I said in my best ratchet girl impression. "A nigga sleeping right here, we ain’t gotta cuddle though."

"Oh I know because we aren’t," She said smartly. "You stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine." She mumbled, getting under the covers.

"Whatever," I said, mimicking her actions by getting under the covers.

"You know you’re not gonna be here much longer right? I’m calling the movers in the morning to set up a date for them to come out here."

"Yeah I know, I just talked to Lex about it and she said she expected it because I need my own space with the baby."

I nodded my head in agreement as the room fell silent. I was debating on whether or not I should ask her the question that has been on my mind since earlier.

"Are you happy about having my baby Bianca?" I blurted, before I was even aware that the words were leaving my mouth.

"I wouldn’t say happy because this isn’t how I imagined starting a family, but I’m not sad about it either. I think it’ll just take some getting used to."

When she said this isn’t how she imagined she’d be starting a family she didn’t need to elaborate because I knew what she meant. She wanted to start a family with a man she was married to or at least in a relationship with, and we were neither of those. Although I do look at our affair as a relationship, we’re not doing that anymore and I was never fully hers. But it is what it is.

"So were you ever with that nigga or did you just like making me think that you were?" That was another question that had been on my mind, Alexis told me that they were just friends but only Bianca could put my thoughts to rest on that subject matter.

She chuckled softly, “We were just friends Chris, never even kissed.”

"Good," I said, content with her answer. And the fact that she said they were friends made me feel even better because that meant they weren’t anymore, I didn’t really want her around him anyway.

"Your jealousy is cute, but so unnecessary." She giggled.

"Jealous?" I chuckled, "I’m not jealous." I said in my most convincing tone but she wasn’t buying it.

"Whatever you say Christopher," She paused to yawn. "I’m going to sleep now." She rolled over on her side and instinctively I moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her body even though we said no cuddling.

"Chris? I thought we said—"

"Go to sleep," I demanded, snuggling into her more just enjoying the feel of having someone in my arms.

It’s been a while since we’ve been this close and I was going to take as much of it as I could get because who knows when I’d have this chance again.

Besides, cuddling is innocent right?

chapter 45

Bianca

Was I dreaming?

All I heard was that there was still a living baby inside my stomach before I completely spaced out. Dr. Smith and Chris were still talking but I didn’t hear a word that either of them were saying because my own thoughts were louder than the sound of either of their voices. 

“Bianca,” Chris’s voice tore me away from my thoughts.

“Hm?” I mumbled, still not giving him my full attention as I picked at the imaginary lint on this God forsaken hospital robe they had me in. 

“He’s trying to explain it to us but you zoned out, you okay?” Chris asked with concern filled eyes, I looked down to see that our hands were still connected. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” I whispered as I finally brought my eyes up to meet Dr. Smith’s. “I apologize.”

“It’s alright, it’s a natural reaction.” 

“So the fight that I was engaged in earlier, didn’t cause my miscarriage?”

“No—”

“But she kicked me right in the stomach.” I wasn’t trying to come off as rude but I needed to make some kind of sense out of this twisted situation. “How could that not be the cause of it?” 

“She may have forced some complications on the surviving baby, we’ll have to figure that out when we finish the ultrasound. But what I’m telling you now is that you’ve been a victim of Vanishing Twin Syndrome.”

I remember him asking if we knew what Vanishing Twin Syndrome was before I zoned out but I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. What normal person would know what that is? It sounds like a made up term from a soap opera or something. 

“Can you explain it to me, in layman terms please?” 

“Sure,” He walked back over to the screen that displayed my ultrasound. “This is your surviving baby.” He pointed to a space on the screen where I could just barely make out the figure. “And this,” He pointed somewhere left of where our baby was. “Is the empty sac that your baby’s twin once occupied.”

“S-so what happened to the other baby?” 

“The other baby was reabsorbed within your body,” He explained, as if what he just said was normal - maybe for him it was - but certainly not for me. 

“R-reabsorbed, but how?” Dr. Smith chuckled at my look of befuddlement but I didn’t see anything funny, this situation was just getting weirder and weirder. I looked over at Chris and he seemed to be just as perplexed as I was but he kept his mouth shut. “Why?”

“See that’s the thing about Vanishing Twin Syndrome, we don’t know what exactly causes it,” He said. “Most miscarriages are caused by genetic abnormalities, such as extra chromosomes, but this isn’t your average miscarriage that’s why it has it’s own name rather than us just calling it a miscarriage,” He explained. “But, your case is different than most others.”

“How so?” This time it was Chris asking the question. 

“Most women who experience VTS usually don’t experience any of the normal miscarriage symptoms such as bleeding, cramping, excetera. That is why upon your arrival here, we assumed you were just having a normal miscarriage but while we were doing the ultrasound I discovered this empty sac.”

“So, will our other baby survive?” Chris asked.

“We need to continue on with the ultrasound and listen to the baby’s heartbeat before I determine that, but in most cases the child does survive and go on to lead a perfectly normal life. Would you like to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”

“Yes,” Chris answered before I could. 

“Very well then,” Dr. Smith replied, jotting down some more things on his clipboard. Once he was finished with that he washed his hands before grabbing the gel that had been placed on my stomach earlier, before sitting in his previous spot in front of me. “You already know this is going to be cold, but I have to warn you anyway.” He chuckled.

My body’s natural reaction was to jump from the ice cold substance being poured onto it, I could never get used to this. And to think this was probably going to be my life for the next five or six months, God willing nothing is wrong with our remaining baby. 

Am I ready to be a mother?

If this baby is healthy enough to survive then I don’t have a choice but to be ready because I don’t believe in abortions, especially after I just lost one child. 

I was brought out of my thoughts by what sound like horse galloping or a roaring thunder on a stormy night.

That was my baby’s heartbeat. 

Before I could enjoy the moment any further, Dr.Smith began speaking again. “So there are some minor complications with the heartbeat,” He said, bringing me off the high that I was on from hearing the heartbeat.

“And what might that be?” Chris voiced the question that was on both of our minds. “It isn’t severe is it?” I could hear the concern in his voice.

He really wanted this.

“Not necessarily,” Dr. Smith spoke. “As of today the baby’s heart is beating 110 beats per minute, you’re between twelve and thirteen weeks pregnant so it should’ve been somewhere between 120 and 180. I wouldn’t rule this as a high risk pregnancy because the heart rate isn’t too far off the mark, but I would suggest that you take it easy Ms. Alvarez.”

“When you say take it easy…”

“I mean, if you’re an extremely active person everyday then that’ll probably have to change. We don’t want to put any unwanted stress on the baby, what do you do for a living?”

“I own a boutique.”

“So you’re not on your feet a lot right?” He inquired.

“No, I’m in my office most of the time and I check on the sales floor occasionally.”

He nodded before grabbing his clipboard and scribbling down some more notes. “Try to keep it that way, I’m not going to put you on bed rest because as I stated before it’s not that drastic but you should be cautious of how active you are.” He explained. “And no more fighting Ms. Alvarez.”

“Of course not,” I smiled. 

“Well, I’m going to fill out your prescription for some prenatal vitamins because you have a lot of catching up to do and we have to keep that baby healthy. Congratulations you two,” He said, leaving out of the room. 

Chris stood up and walked over to the sink to retrieve some paper towels, upon returning over to me he stood up and wiped my belly with the paper towels to rid it of the blue gel.

“Thank you,” I mumbled once he was finished. 

“You’re welcome,” He replied, walking to the trash can to dispose of the paper towels. 

“I gotta ask you this question that’s been bothering me for that past few minutes,” He chuckled, returning to his seat beside my bed. “How did you not know you were pregnant? You definitely gained some we—”

His sentence was cut short by me punching him in the chest at the rude comment he was about to make. “Pregnant or not, you never tell a woman she gained weight!”

Rubbing the spot where I punched him, Chris chuckled faintly. “Damn, you ain’t have to punch me though.”

I simply shrugged in response hoping that he would learn his lesson to never say anything like that to me again, I don’t care if I’m nine months pregnant and ready to burst he better not. Women are just naturally sensitive about our weight for some reason.

“So,” Chris said after a few minutes of silence. “I never got to apologize for doing you the way I did—”

The motion of my hand moving upward ceased whatever apology he was about to spew my way. “Honestly Chris, I’m over it now so you really don’t have to. Anyway, you were right by doing so, it was a fling that shouldn’t have happened and your marriage was more important. I get it.” I mumbled with another shrug.

“Over it, or over me?” He inquired, his deep chocolate brown eyes peering into my own but his stare was too intense for me so I broke it.

“Does it matter?” I retorted in an icy tone, not wanting to go down this road with Chris again.

“Yes it does actually,” He stated simply. “Obviously we’re going to be spending a lot of time together because I’m not missing any of your doctor’s appointments and I’ll be checking on you daily to ensure that you’re following the doctor’s orders.” He explained. 

“But what does that have to do with me being over you? All we have to do is be cordial with one another and obviously we’re capable of doing that so I don’t get where emotions come into play.”

“Touche, but I want you to move into that condo—”

“No,” I cut him off, shaking my head swiftly from left to right at his statement. “Hell no.”

Chuckling he said, “Why not?”

“Because you probably have keys to that damn place aside from the one’s that I’d have so, uh no thanks.”

“You gave me keys to your apartment before.” He said smartly, a smirk resting on his pink lips.

Releasing an exasperated sigh, “That was when we were…whatever, point is that we’re not like that anymore.”

“But we could be…” 

I knew he was going to try this nonsense and I’m not here for it at all, Chris is a smooth talker but I refuse to fall for it. “No, those days are over and this baby won’t change that.”

“Can’t blame a man for trying,” He chuckled once more as he ascended from his chair to join me on the bed, he moved my legs over gently so that he could sit. “Anyway just think about the condo thing, do you really want to raise a baby while living with your best friend?”

“I could just find my own place,” I retorted.

“Looking for places is too stressful and we don’t need that.”

I opened my mouth to release some kind of rebuttal but came up with nothing because what he said actually made sense. I already had plans of moving out but I still hadn’t found a place that was perfect enough for me to move into. The process was beyond stressful, dealing with realtors and finding seemingly right places only to discover that everything isn’t what it seems. And here he was offering me a condo that was supposed to be mine months ago, and all I had to do was say yes. I gnawed at the inside of my bottom lip, not wanting to tell Chris that for once he actually made sense.

“You’re right,” I mumbled lowly, twiddling my fingers to avoid looking at him because I know the cocky bastard was smirking. 

“I know,” He hooked his fingers under my chin and forced me to look up at his smirking face. “Just let me take care of everything the packing, the movers, the place is already furnished, and I’ll stock the fridge, all you gotta do is show up.” 

What person in their right mind would turn an offer like that down? Me because I didn’t feel comfortable allowing him to do so much for me, I never did. “Chris I can’t—”

“Don’t even,” He cut me off. “You’re the mother of my kid now and I gotta make sure yall are both alright, you understand?” Nodding my head slowly, I felt like a child getting scolded by their parents.

“Good, I’ll be dropping you off at work every morning and picking you up every evening aight?” I wanted to protest but there really was no arguing with Chris right now, he was in protective mode so I just nodded my head again. “If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me, I don’t care what time it is. I know how those pregnancy cravings can be so I got you.” He stared at me intensely and this time I didn’t look away, something about Chris was different I could see it in his eyes. He was trying to read me at the same time I was trying to read him.

 The sound of his phone ringing brought us out of the little stare down we were having, he removed it from his pocket and mumbled that he’d be right back so he could answer the call.

This has been an eventful day for me and honestly I’m just ready to get it over with. I hadn’t planned on pressing charges on Jessica and now that I know she wasn’t the cause of my ‘miscarriage’ I can tell the police that whenever they come back, she has a child to take care of so she doesn’t need to be locked away in a cell anyway. After all, it was my fault that she was so angry and she reacted the way any woman would if she felt there was a threat to her marriage.

How could I expect her to know that Chris and I were done when she found out? And even so, the fact of the matter is I was still messing with her husband so she had every right to be angry. I’m not proud of what I’ve done and I always imagined that I’d have my first child when I got married but that’s the thing about life, you can’t plan out every single detail no matter how hard you try. 

These are the cards that I’ve been dealt and I intend to play my hand because that’s all I can do. My father wouldn’t be proud of the situation that I put myself in but I can’t beat myself up over it.

Dr. Smith came back with my prescription for prenatal vitamins and told me that I could leave whenever I wanted to but I had to be escorted by Chris in a wheelchair for safety precautions.

Chris came back into the room after about ten minutes and he looked like something was weighing heavy on his mind. 

“You okay?” I queried, releasing him from whatever thoughts swarmed his mind as his head snapped in my direction.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m good but there’s something I need to run by you…” He trailed off. “I told my mama the news about the baby and now she wants to meet you.”

My eyes nearly popped out of my head, that was the last thing I was expecting to come out of his mouth. “W-what? Why?”

“Uh, because you’re carrying her grandchild,” His monotone let me know that what his way of saying ‘duh’ like I should’ve already known the answer — which I did — but I was nervous so I said the first thing that came to mind. “And I already told her that you would so uh, there’s no getting out of it. I already told Lex and Nancy the news and I also told them that I’d take you home so they left, we’re gonna stop by my mom’s house first though.”

I guess I really had no choice but to get dressed and accompany him to his mother’s house, no matter how much I didn’t want to.

Chris

“Hello?” I answered the call from my mama just as I stepped out of the hospital room.

“Why is Jessica calling me asking if you brought Casey with you to the hospital to see that girl?” I could tell mama was annoyed at us for putting her in the middle of our mess.

“Oh shit,” I chuckled, “My bad ma, she probably thought I was bringing Casey because when I left the house I told her that I was picking up Casey and going to see Bianca but I didn’t mean it in that way.”

“Yall need to get it together,” She muttered.

“I agree, but guess what mama!” Though I knew she wouldn’t approve, I was still excited to tell her the news.

“What?” She asked cautiously.

“Bianca is still pregnant!”

The other end of the phone went deal silent and I feared that she hung up on me but my phone indicated that she didn’t so I gave her a few minutes to process the information. 

About two minutes went by before she finally spoke, “I want to meet her, bring her to the house.” Three beeps emitted from my phone made me realize that I’d just been hung up on, mama ment business and I had to comply to her orders.

Gnawing at the inside of my bottom lip, I contemplated how I was going to actually get Bianca to go. I’m sure she’d be catching a ride home with Alexis whenever the doctor cleared her to leave so I’d just have to run it by Lex that I’d take her home.

I could practically feel the wave of nerves emitting from Bianca in the passenger seat as we rode in silence to mama’s house. Unbeknownst to her, she was making me even more nervous than I already was because I didn’t know what to expect. 

“Chill,” I said to both her and myself.

She ignored me and continued to stare out of her window the rest of the way to mama’s house. When we arrived, she walked slowly to the door as if she was dreading it. I unlocked the door and held it open for her to walk inside first and I followed close behind.

Just as we walked into the living room, mama entered from the kitchen with Casey hot on her trail. 

“Dada!” Casey squealed, power walking over to me and I scooped her up in my arms. We always act like we haven’t seen each other although we’d just seen each other a few hours ago. “Hi.” She said shyly with a small wave of her hand, looking in Bianca’s direction. She was such a friendly little girl and even more so when her expanding vocabulary.

“Hi pretty girl.” Bianca smiled.

Mama cleared her throat and we all moved to sit down on the couches but the doorbell ringing stopped mama before she could sit down. She moved towards the door and we all gasped at who came storming inside.

Jessica.

And she looked pissed.

“I knew it.” Jessica fumed, I stood up from the couch to approach her before she even thought to come attacking Bianca again because we didn’t need that. 

“Bab—”

“Don’t baby me Christopher! What is she doing here?” She was breathing heavily through her nostrils, her chest rose and fell quickly.

“Mama!” Casey shouted, not noticing the tension in the room of course.

“I’ll take her and stay down here with Bianca while you two go upstairs and talk.” Mama cut it, grabbing Casey from my arms before either of us could protest.

Jessica glared at Bianca the entire way to the stairs but Bianca didn’t seem to be fazed by it, in fact she pretty much ignored Jessica’s presence completely. 

As soon as we made it up the stairs I decided for us to go into my father’s study, I held the door open for a seething Jessica before following her inside. 

Immediately, she picked up one of his books that were lying around and chucked it at my head hitting me directly in the middle of my forehead. “Don’t start throwing shit at me Jessica! This shit ain’t even what ya ass probably over there thinking!”

“Then what the fuck is it? You had your mother lie to me while you took my baby to go up to the hospital to see your bitch?”

“Man, I ain’t take Casey up to the fucking hospital with me. I don’t even think babies are allowed up there in the first fucking place!”

“So why is she here Chris, you thought it was a good idea to bring your mistress to meet your mama?” 

Heaving a deep sigh, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at how dramatic she was being. “Mama wanted to meet her.” I stated simply, not sure if I should reveal to her that Bianca was still pregnant.

“Wh—”

“She’s still pregnant,” I mumbled lowly, opting to take a seat in one of the chairs because I knew this conversation was just getting started.

“Excuse me?” She mirrored my actions, taking a seat in the chair adjacent to mine.

“She’s still pregnant,” I said loud enough for her to hear.

A set of bitter chuckles emitted from Jessica’s mouth, “I quit.” She muttered, moving to take off her wedding ring. “You know, when you left I thought maybe we could get through this. We were both wrong and if we could just bring ourselves to admit that then we’d be able to move forward but now I quit, I can’t do this — I won’t do this.” The last few words came out as more of a whisper as she absentmindedly twirled the wedding ring with her fingers. “I refuse to keep coming second in my own marriage to her, I refuse to be unhappy in my own marriage because of her, so tell her she wins, she can have you because I quit.”

“So because she’s pregnant, you want out?” Earlier I was acting nonchalant about her mentioning a divorce because I knew she was speaking out of anger. But now that she had time to think it over and was still talking about a divorce, worried me. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to let Jessica go completely, we’ve been together forever.

“Think about it this way,” She mumbled. “If I would’ve kept the baby I aborted and it happened to be Gabe’s kid, would you still want to be with me?” She crossed her arms over her chest as she awaited my response. “And don’t lie.”

“Honestly? No, but—”

“Exactly,” She said, cutting me off from whatever excuse I was going to come up with - I didn’t even know. “There’s no ‘but’, if you had kids before we got married then I’d deal but I refuse to stick around and play stepmother to your illegitimate child.” She muttered, pushing herself off the chair to stand to her feet. She walked over to my chair and stood directly in front of me, dropping the ring into my lap.

“You really gon’ do this though?” I asked, feeling my chest get a little tight as I pulled her down onto my lap. “I’m sorry baby, this shit is all my fault.” I whispered into her ear as she gave up on trying to fight her way out of my hold.

“You got that right,” She mumbled, kissing her teeth. “You broke us, not the other way around.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I never meant for shit to go this far.”

“No you thought you could continue playing me, getting the best of both worlds; A wife at home and a woman on the side, thinking I would never find out.” She chuckled bitterly. “Can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner.”

“I stopped messing with her a while ago for you.”

“She shouldn’t have been in the picture at all Chris! But I won’t sit here and act innocent anymore, I know I was wrong too and I helped contribute to our downfall with my own affair,” She paused to take a deep breath. “I was vulnerable a couple of days after I saw the sextape, Gabe came over to the apartment and I told him what was going on so he comforted me.” She continued, “I blamed myself for you stepping out on me, thinking that I wasn’t enough for you and he made me feel special again — like you used to,” The last part came out as a whisper as she reached up to wipe the tears than began to fall freely from her eyes, I rubbed her arms in a slow methodical motion in an attempt to comfort her although she was describing the details of her affair. “At first I hated myself for having sex with him, I couldn’t look myself in the mirror for weeks because I’d become just like you. But as time went by, Gabe continued to make me feel wanted and loved so our affair kept on and I stopped hating myself for it because I realized that I wanted it just as bad as he did.”

“Were you still having sex with him when we moved back in together?” I inquired, fearing that I already knew the answer. 

“Yes,” She whispered, “Because even though we had moved back in together, we still weren’t back to how we used to be and I wasn’t happy with you and I knew you weren’t happy with me. I ended things with him in December because that’s when you and I started getting back to our old ways and I was thrilled, but only for us to end up here. So instead of us trying, and failing, to save our marriage once again, why don’t we just call it quits?”

“Dealing with your baby mama drama is only going to make me unhappy and I refuse to stay in that space, so I will be filing for a divorce and moving into my apartment within the next few days.”

“We don’t have to hate each other though, I’ll see you when you get home.” She turned around and planted a kiss on my cheek before getting up from my lap and heading to the door. I sat there dumbfounded as I stared at the diamond ring I bought her for our wedding. 

This was really it.

She was going to file for a divorce and there was nothing that I could say to change her mind, as long as Bianca was still pregnant then Jessica didn’t want anything to do with me. Bianca was having my child so I guess this was the end of me and Jessica. 

Shit maybe I need to be single because these two females have me stressing myself out.

After sitting upstairs in solitude for a few more minutes, I decided to head downstairs and see what was going on. Jessica was gone and so was Casey, Bianca and mama were on the patio talking and laughing. I heaved a sigh of relief, glad that mama seemed to like her seeing as how she was going to really be around now. 

“How’d it go?” Mama asked, as soon as I stepped foot on the patio and I shrugged my shoulders.

“She’s moving out and we’re still getting divorced.” I mumbled, taking a seat in between the two of them.

“It isn’t because of me is it?” Bianca asked. “I can tell her that there’s nothing going on between us—”

“Nah,” I said. “You’re part of the reason but it’s much deeper than that so don’t even worry about it.”

“So who is Casey going to live with?” Mama asked.

I shrugged, “We didn’t even discuss that, she’ll probably want Casey to live with her and that’s fine with me as long as she never denies me the right to see her because then I’d take her ass to court.” I stated seriously. “But what have yall been down here discussing?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Nothing.” They both responded at the same time which made them both giggle.

“Women,” I mumbled, shaking my head slowly.

We stayed at mama’s house for another hour before I decided to take Bianca home. The entire way to her house we discussed how much she liked mama and how silly she felt for being nervous about meeting her. She said mama did ask her a few questions about the status of our relationship and how she felt sleeping with a married man but Bianca said she held her own and told mama the truth about how she felt bad for what she did but something beautiful came out of it.

“Do I gotta carry you upstairs?” I joked, as we pulled up to her apartment.

“Ha ha very funny, but I think I can manage.” She smirked, opening the door to exit the car. “Thank you for today, it wasn’t that bad of a birthday after all.”

“Do you need anything before I go?” I asked.

“Nope, but if I do I won’t hesitate to call no matter what time it is.” She smiled as she closed the door. 

“I meant that.”

“Goodnight Chris,” She chuckled before walking off towards the entrance to the apartment building.

I watched her go inside before pulling off, as I drove down the streets of Chicago I contemplated my next move. Ultimately I just decided to go home, and enjoy what might be my last night of having both Jessica and Casey at home. 

thewicked-eternity